What My Mother and I Don't Talk About, Edited by Michele Filgate

When she arrived in the hospital after my daughter was born, I sat there on the starched sheets holding my baby, and she held me, and I cried uncontrollably because I could finally understand how much she loved me, and I could hardly stand the grace of it.
I Met Fear on the Hill
Leslie Jamison
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Our Mothers are our first homes, and that's why we are always trying to return to them.
Michele Filgate
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What My Mother and I Don't Talk About
Fifteen Writers Break the Silence
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This anthology of essays began as Michele Filgate's letter to her mother confessing abuse by her stepfather in childhood. When it was published and went viral, the outpouring inspired her to compile other writers' stories. The result is a confessional of sorts; a way these writers broached topics with their mothers about things they barely understood themselves.
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My daughter brought this to my attention in consideration for a discussion on our podcast. I decided to listen to it because each essay is read by its author and I find memoir writing is often best delivered by hearing the author's voice. And I was right - it brings these fifteen stories to life in a very personalized way.
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Although each essay is very different, the one common thread is that as humans, we seem to look for closure from issues that we've wrestled with our whole lives, especially from the person we are often closest to - our mothers. Some of these are reckonings, some are love letters, some will bring you to tears, some are incredibly hard to hear. But they are all about learning to accept one another, as parents and as children. And as the caretaking shifts with aging often we feel the need to gain some clarity, and these essays illuminate that desire.
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I think mothers often bear the brunt of family trauma and you can feel that in these voices a bit. But there are also a few stories that prove that reconciliation is possible and most often, everyone is doing their best to try to understand one another. It's powerful and if you like memoir or essay, I think you'll find many of these incredibly moving.
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